Sunday, 16 July 2006


My first, my last, my everything,
And the answer to all my dreams.
You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star.
My kind of wonderful, that's what you are.

I know there's only, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two.
You're, you're all I'm living for
Your love I'll keep for evermore.
You're the first, my last, my everything.
You're The First, The Last, My Everything, Barry White

Someone recently asked me why I blog. I said I use the Internet as a tool to express the wonder that is life. Another reason why I love writing is it enables me to practise self-acceptance.

Recently, I felt like I was stuck in one realm and trying to communicate with people on another and feeling frustrated that I wasn't being understood. The whole day was tarnished by this frustration. When I met up with a friend later I was still frustrated and it blew up into a row. My friend took it personally which wasn't my intention. After a while I stepped out of that energy and was back to my normal self, but my friend didn't share my view.

Looking back on it what I believe I needed was an acknowledgement of what I was feeling. It really didn't matter whether the feeling was right or wrong, it simply was where I was at the time. My friend wasn't in a place where he could simply be silent and let me express what needed to be expressed. The only one who could be there for me was myself, the real Self.

Self is unconditional love and acceptance. She loves me no matter what I'm going through. She loves me no matter what my beliefs. She loves me in spite of everything.

There are two ways Self gives me the space to be, to feel, and to experience without judgment: in silence or she tells me She loves me. When I'm feeling frustrated or whatever and have the space to be, somehow things end up sorting themselves out effortlessly.

Back to the reason why I love writing. There's nothing like a blank screen that accepts everything I throw at it without condemnation or judgment. And as I write I get more clarity about who I am in that moment and can see the bigger picture. So you could say the computer screen is a physical manifestation of Self.

Writing is my first, my last, my everything.


Related article: Acceptance