Thursday, 20 July 2006

The Body as a Tool to Express Self

Why do I have a body? Is it to help me fulfil my desires?

All bodies, whether they appear as individualised visible forms or invisible, are potential tools for the I AM to express Self. The I AM is God though we each experience the I AM as our own unique God-presence.

This individualised form I call Enocia is a tool my I AM uses to express self but it is not the only tool that my I AM uses. The Internet is a another kind of body my I AM expresses through, as are forms of consciousness appearing as buses, people, places, animals, nature, stars, planets, energy, light, ideas, etc.

When the body is not being used as a tool for the I AM to express through, it is being used as a tool for the ego. This is why it's important for each of us to realise that our I AM/God-presence is our true self, and then let our true self take control.

Here's one example of how a body can be used for the I AM or the ego.

On my bus journey home, I chatted to a young lady. She had just come from work in a department store in Oxford Street. We talked about the different kinds of outfits her shop sells. She said she loves outfits that are unique; but because she's petite she tends to shop in outlets that sell what everyone else wears. She loves a particular brand of jeans (I can't recall what it is now) which fits like a glove, but it costs a fortune.

My friend said she's noticed the American influence of larger sizes coming through the back door. She said a size 10 is a lot larger than it used to be. Clothes retailers are trying to kill two birds with one stone: make larger women feel better for wearing smaller sizes, and make even more money. My friend said she takes a size 6. I never knew there was a size 6 in the UK. I'm a size 8. For all I know size 8 is now a size 6.

My friend said she gets frustrated when people tell her she's lucky to be skinny. She went to Japan recently and women are doing all they can to be thin. They thought she looked gorgeous. She said she was thinking "Fuck off! Not all women want to be skinny; I want to put on weight." I told my friend I could relate to her perspective. I felt the same way when I was her age; she's 20.

While I was growing up as a child in Sierra Leone, plump was considered attractive. I desperately wanted to put on weight but I couldn't. When I came to England thin was considered attractive. However, my mentality was still stuck in the culture I was brought up in so I did all I could to put on weight. I even asked my doctor to put me on steroids so I could gain weight but he refused. His advice was for me to eat my greens and be grateful I was healthy. Arrrgh! What does he know?

Years later, I discovered a college offering a new post-graduate course called "The Body and Representation." Finally, someone understands me. I put forward a proposal for a PhD to study women who desperately want to put on weight and feel marginalised because society doesn't recognise their needs. I was offered a place to do a Masters leading to a PhD. I deferred for a year as I couldn't afford it at the time. By the next year I found I no longer needed to do the course as I'd come to accept my body as it was, or so I thought.

When I reached my mid-thirties I started putting on weight. It was as if the genetic and hereditary programme had finally kicked in. At one point I weighed 126 pounds which was very heavy for me. In my mind's eye, I could see my future body and it was very round. I didn't like it one bit. I started letting go of many of the beliefs relating to seeing myself as a physical body. I ended up losing 1 stone (14 pounds). That was five years ago and I've stayed the same weight, 8 stones (112 pounds), ever since.

I told my friend on the bus that it's a matter of accepting herself for who she is now. Easier said than done, I know. She'll have to work through it in a way that's right for her. I hope she realises that her real self is the I AM Presence using the body she has for whatever purpose the I AM has.

As you can see, when you're not awake to your true identity, you are under the influence of the ego-consciousness and its conflicting beliefs. When you realise that you are the I AM Presence then you know that you are using the body you have, as well as the universe, visible and invisible, to express yourself.

I AM.
Enocia

Related articles: Like a Flower; Why Do I Have a Body?; House Makeover; How To Avoid Blocks